House of Pain

Previously Titled Implicitly Thank’d

I ran into the guy that threatened to rape me at the gym, it was him who recognized me. And as cool as he was when I met him in grade school the grown man before me looked  . . .

completely different. Flashbacks to the evening it almost happened came back to me while genuinely returning his smile.

I was alone when I came to his house Bianca usually comes with me but she was on lockdown . His place wasn’t particularly fun, it was just a place away from my home. So I went over there just to talk and hangout. I’m not sure how I ended up in a room alone with him but he and I weren’t alone. His other friend (a male) was there with us too.

My friend said:

“Let’s have sex”

 “nah I’m cool”


“I don’t want to get pregnant”

“That’s what condoms are for”.

But I didn’t want to have sex with him or sex period so I got up to leave the room. Six inches from the door he spins me back around to face him.

“You can at least let us suck on your titties”

They both looked at me for some kind of consent but my terrified look pissed him off more than his buddy

“What the fuck is wrong with you”

He banged his fist against the wall his face only two inches from me. I closed my eyes and did my best not to let him hear me cry but the tears began to fall on their own. I asked God for forgiveness for using his place as an escape my own. I did my best to prepare my body for rape while begging God to get me outta this. I knew I’d need his help to recover from this. I wished Bianca was here she had courage to stop this.

Accepting my fate I opened my eyes just in time to hear him say he wanted me out. I ran down the stairs past his sister and his friends but not before he said don’t ever come back .The sound of someone dropping weights on the floor bring me back to the present and I realize I zoned out.  He said something about a party his sis was throwing for him. We talked a bit before parting ways but I watched him until he walked out.

There was something I always wanted to say to him and the other guys that did what he almost did to me but no matter how often I rehearse it in my head, I can’t bring myself to say thanks for not raping me.A.

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