This is Part 2 of Hooking-up with Deshawn
Click here for Part 1
The Struggle Within
I didn’t want to be with a guy but I wanted to be with him,
Still Anti-Relationship but committed to him.
hair, I shyly turned away to disguise the effect he had on me.
I would’ve done anything that moment, said anything he wanted to hear to reroute his effect on me. When the conversation ended I struggled to say goodnight cause I really didn’t want it to end.
We planned to go out but I kept putting it off cause I was terrified and excited for the kiss. He had no idea it’d be my first and I had no intention of telling him.
We finally set a date: the date was set for this weekend, it was postponed the day of but I needed to see him. I was already dressed when he called and asked to reschedule but too sprung to disappoint him.
I told him I was going out but wouldn’t see the movie we were going to see and ended up seeing it with my “Yes-Man”. It wasn’t intentional, the alternative movie had already started and none of us had seen the movie DeShawn and I were going to see.
I should’ve told him what I wanted now I’d never be able to face him and I’ve already spent the whole night thinking about him. I called my best friend to put my mind at ease but all he did was remind me of the pain. He said: “I don’t know A, I thought you really liked him, I thought you were gonna see where it went. I really missed him so I did the only thing I could do:
I called DeShawn and ended it
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