If eyes could talk they’d sin daily, they don’t so I have to train my self to speak.
I get his attention before church and all throughout service, it’s subtle but I catch every one. He smiles when he’s caught, I can’t help but smile back, I know he’ll be more cautious next time. We don’t speak after church, I know they want his attention so I just pack my stuff to go home. It kills me inside but there’s not much I can do, I have to get used to sharing him. Last week he was praying at the altar when I brought my stuff in, I’d finished setting up when he finally got up. I saw him glance in my direction but I refused to meet his gaze, he’d undoubtedly know how much I liked it if I did. It was a low blow but others are watching, I don’t wanna make enemies at his church. There’s at least two prospects in the church and one of them was there, I don’t wanna piss off his future wife while I’m there.
He gave me a few more glances during service and I’m pretty sure I smiled at least once. That type of encouragement led to more looks like that. He went onto to preach a very good message about planting seeds and compared it to inviting people to church and not bugging them about it. I laughed loudly and smiled frequently, it’s the only time I’m not shy around him. He smiled back at me and continued the message he was preaching. I mingled with my favorites after church ((bible study goers and classy women)) then headed to the front to pack up my stuff and leave. While I was packing up my stuff I saw he was headed in my direction and I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out . I blame him for not being able to speak because he walked by without looking at me. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from it.
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