I fucking hate him!!! How dare he not show!!! This is a new dress, I’ll never forgive him for this.
I arrived a few minutes early and parked dad’s new car on the corner, B’s new car was no where in sight. He has reserved parking right in front of the church so maybe he drove a different car. I put my flashers on and unload my instruments, I feel B’s absence as I bring them inside. I contemplate going home but maybe he’s just late so why is there another car in his spot? I smile at a guy on the phone by the door who offers his services and carries my trumpet into the church. I left my big amp by the door while following him with my guitar secretly hoping he’d go and bring that in too. After waiting a few minutes I went back out and brought that in too. I hoisted it up on my shoulder while thanking God for flats and smiled while passing the men and women that stared at me.
I set everything up and did everything but tune my guitar when I left to run home to get something I forgot. I promised a cute little girl there that she could have my emoji bag because her’s broke over a week ago. When I made it back B’s car still wasn’t there so I sulked all the way inside. I looked for B the first half of service and spent the rest of it missing him, Mack kept asking if I was okay. I smiled as hard as I could and told myself to pull it together but it felt like I might really die. Tears filled my eyes a few times but I managed to keep them there by promising myself a good cry when I got home. The preacher was pretty good, I just wanted B but tuned in as often as I could. She said he will send me a comforter, how dare she, B is my comforter. So where is he on this blessed Sunday? I cut bread out of my diet to make my stomach super flat and got up extra early just to be here on time. So when service ended I packed my instruments quickly, drove someone to the bus stop and cried all the way home.
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